Parenting.
Parents Who Overshare On Social Media.
“Sharenting” and the parent-to-child relationship.
Many children who grew up exposed to regular social media are parents today. Some parents are so addicted to social media that they spend more time staring at their screens than they do in their children’s eyes.
Think about that for a moment.
Have you spent as much time today looking into the eyes of your precious babies as you have staring at devices?
I can’t help but wonder what children must think of parents today who crave the attention and approval of their friends and family and can’t function without their devices.
Some children barely get to appreciate a moment with their parents without a phone or tablet aimed at them. Then when the device isn’t aimed at them it's passed on as a treat, “look now you get to be a clone just like Mummy and Daddy.” There’s something very Coraline about it all.
Other children are asked to repeat the fun they just had, ultimately destroying any fun that would have developed naturally.
Children whose parents are addicted to social media aren’t familiar with the word ‘natural’, everything in their lives is artificial, even and especially, their parents.
No child has done it yet, but there is the potential for children to claim the money back from parents who profited from their photos or sue parents for public posts that could incriminate them in future.
“With a digital identity and a personality not of their own making, some [children] aren’t going to be too thrilled with what was created for them.” — Stacey Steinberg, Law Professor.
Unwittingly, many parents have gone viral posting about their children, and though they might have benefitted financially, the mental and emotional toll has been heavy and sometimes detrimental to relationships.
- A positive result of sharenting occurred when two parents lost custody of their children after sharing pranks that were clearly emotionally abusive.
- The post from a father about his son’s tooth extraction went viral in 2009 earning him six figures, but it came with considerable stress and personal attacks, including accusations of child abuse.
- You may be familiar with the 11 month-old fist pump boy of 2007. His photo has been shared millions of times, but his mother had to go to court when a right-wing politician used the photo in his campaign.
- Another mother was devastated to find out a photo of her twin's potty training was downloaded and shared on a site for paedophiles.
Many parents who weren’t raised well have shared their discipline experiences only to find out that their actions weren’t acceptable. Parents sharing videos of themselves bullying their children for bullying are still common!?
Researchers found that parents who overshare on social media are deemed less socially desirable by other parents. Parents believe that those who overshare on social media use their children to get attention.
Psychologists are concerned that parents who overshare on social media are disrupting their child’s identity formation when their privacy boundaries are crossed. A child’s relational identity is also skewed according to their parent’s digital presence.
A content analysis of mum influencers on Instagram and Youtube found the excessive posting of children to be dehumanizing, ethically irresponsible, and damaging to the parent-child relationship. Children felt “embarrassed, annoyed, and frustrated” about posts that their parents had made about them.
Another concern is the risk of exposing your children to online predators. A skilled predator can gain enough information about your child to locate them and then convince them that they know you.
“ … parents who spend more time on the internet and those with a lower education level are more likely to share photos of their children on social media” — Silvia Demozzi et al.
Boston Children’s Hospital pediatrician, Dr Claire McCarthy, recommends asking the following five questions when it comes to posting about your children:
- Why are you sharing it?
- Would you want someone to share the same post about you?
- Could your child be embarrassed about it, now or in the future?
- Is there anyone in the universe that should not see the post, now or in the future?
- Is this something that you want to be a part of your child’s digital footprint?
It’s a blessing to be able to ask questions or learn from the questions of others, have the opportunity to relate to other parents, and share the good and the bad. None of any of that needs to be public. There are private groups for many of your parenting needs today.
For the sake of your children, keep your children’s private lives private until they’re adults and can make that choice for themselves.
Also, consider how your public image might look to your children?
Is it essential for children to see their mum looking like she’s posing for playboy unless she actually makes a living posing for playboy?
Could you handle your mum posting or posing the way you do?
We love to make excuses for behaviour that might not have our best interests or the best interests of the people we love at heart.
Take actions today that prevent you from having to make excuses tomorrow.
Thanks for reading.❤
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